Wednesday, August 10, 2011

God Is With Me~

A week before July 16, 2011, I was preparing to leave my job at Level Up for the reason that I believe I was not pleasing God anymore. I was constantly complaining and backstabbing my boss for mistreating her employees. I would complain that she was not being considerate and insensitive. Even months before, I was looking for a way out Level Up for aside from the reason stated above, I believe no professional growth would happen to me. I was praying to God for a way out.

Then things happened. The reason why I could not leave was because of my students especially the kids. Then the news came that Chelsea would not be coming back and also Yoon Chan. I took it as God's way of telling me that this year, it would be okay to leave. Then around July, a friend messaged me on Facebook that she had a plan and asked me whether I was willing to take part of it. Thinking that maybe this was God's way out, I grabbed the opportunity. It was a plan to work abroad in KSA. I don't know why but maybe it was a spur of the moment that I took the opportunity and started processing my papers. I never prayed or offered this decision to God. When my friend told me about faking the papers, I had a heavy heart. I really didn't think it was a good idea, so I prayed to God and asked Him for forgiveness of what I am doing and about to do. Everything was set and our flight was on July 23, 2011.

On July 15, 2011, an unexpected text message arrived. It was from PAGCOR HR department asking me to take a pre-employment examination in their office at Ermita, Manila. I was jumping up and down of excitement and happiness. I wanted to get that job for myself and for my family! At that time, I felt like those were God's escape routes. After being so happy, it hit me that I haven't been to Manila. I have never ridden an airplane. Questions like "where am I gonna live?" "What am I gonna do?", started popping on my mind. That night, I earnestly prayed and cried out to God my anxiety asking for His guidance as I go to Manila. I quit my job on July 16, 2011, and told them I had an opportunity waiting for me.

I was constantly praying and thanking God for this opportunity. The happiness I felt in my heart that time was so great. I bought my tickets on July 17, 2011 and my flight was at 10:30PM that night. I was alone at the airport but I know God is with me. When I entered the airplane, I met a guy named Rodele. He was my seatmate and he asked me whether I was studying in Manila. I said "no", and explained that it was my first time going there to take an exam. He asked me where I was going to stay. I answered that I would probably stay and spend the night at the airport for I do not know anyone in Manila. He told me about his purpose of staying in Manila. He told me that he was a seaman from Bukidnon and was only going to Manila for a visa appearance and he was going to fly back.

When we reached the airport, he helped me with baggages. I was carrying a box of suha that time and he was the one who carried it. He stayed with the whole night at the airport. He was like God's angel helping me. We stayed at the benches around the airport for the whole night. I couldn't sleep because of the cold wind piercing on my skin. It was a very hard night for me. My mother's friend was also constantly calling asking where I was and who I was with. I honestly told her my situation and she suddenly got so worried that I was with a man. Rodele offered to take me to PAGCOR House at 5 in the morning but my mother's friend told me not to go with him and stay at the airport because she asked her friend to fetch me so that I can take a bath in her place. I willingly obeyed.

When morning came, Rodele and I looked for coffee shops or any restaurant but there weren't any restaurants open at that time. I just ate the biscuits I brought but it was not enough to fill my empty stomach. It was 7:20AM when Gina, the friend of my mom's friend came to fetch me. She was very kind and she took me to her boarding house so that I could take a bath there. She also helped me find a taxi so that I can go to the PAGCOR House.

When I reached the PAGCOR House, I was carrying a lot of baggages. I told the guard that the box of suha was for a specific person and thankfully he let me leave the box on a corner. It was 8:30AM and he asked me to go out and wait first for it was not yet 9AM (the time of my exam). I obeyed him. When I went out, a voice suddenly came from behind me, startling me. It was a man in business attire asking if I was also there for the exam. I said yes and he motioned me to stay on the benches across the building to wait. He asked me when I submitted my application. He also asked me about my love life. I learned a lot about him too. He told me he has worked in New York for 3 years as a bartender. He told me that he once waited outside the US Embassy at 2AM until it opened and he was the fifth customer. He told me the reason why he left the US. He told me about his family, about his mom, and his grandmother. I told him that this was my Manila adventure and he offered to take me to different places in Manila to make my trip worthwhile. I asked him what he will be doing in the afternoon and he said he had no plans until he met me. I was not able to reply. He was a great person to talk to. It is just sad that he is a smoker.

When it was time for us to go in, he offered to carry my bag and I would refuse. I said it's okay. Examination came. It was 35 items to be answered for 15 minutes. It was an exam impossible to pass for it tested your intelligence in Maths and English. I was prepared to go home. I texted my mom and her friend that it was very very difficult. In God's grace, amazingly, they considered me!! They asked some to leave and some to stay. They told me that the only person who passed the exam was my new found friend but they were considering us. I was truly grateful! Then the next step would be the medical examination. I never thought the medical examination was to be conducted that day. When I saw that they were testing the BMI, Height, and Ishihara, I doubted I would pass my BMI, let alone my height. Still I proceeded to take my medical examinations. When we went down to the clinic, he was the one carrying my bag and I was thanking him. He told me that I should be happy I got this far and that this trip is not useless. We got to talk for a long time while waiting for our turn. I was one of the first five who signed up but I forgot to take a number so I went to being one of the first five to being the last. The funny thing was that he was the last before I took the number so we were able to sit together again and talk. I learned a lot about his life in just a short amount of time. I felt happy and at the same time awkward talking to him. Then our turn came.

The results came and I failed on every test. It was very difficult for someone who hasn't got any sleep to pass the Ishihara test, believe me. I took the test again when I went back to Davao with enough sleep and I perfected it. It is also difficult and impossible for an underweight person who did not eat breakfast and lunch to pass the BMI test. This I was sure I would fail. When they assessed my height, I could not believe I was only 4'8". It was difficult to accept for a 4'11 or 5' like me. I thought maybe it was because of my posture. I was carrying heavy baggage that day from the airport to the examination area that I was probably the feminine image of Hunchback of Notre Damme. It was heartbreaking. We went back to give our results but she gave me a piece of paper of disqualification from being employed. I was heartbroken and depressed. I do not know if my face showed my feelings. I texted my mom and her friend of what happened. I was supposed to go out with my new friends when I remembered my mom's friend asked me an errand. I had to get her loan cheque. I told them I was going up again to the office and he told me to take care. I went back up to get the cheque but they wouldn't allow me telling me that they should fax the authorization letter first. I constantly texted my mother's friend about the situation but there was no reply. So I took a taxi and went back to the airport to book my flight home. While I was in the taxi, she called me, asking me where I was and begging for me to go back and get her cheque. I told her I would go back after I buy my tickets.

I went back to the PAGCOR House to get her cheque then back again to the airport. It was only 3PM of July 18, 2011 and my flight was scheduled 04:35AM of July 19, 2011. I was thinking deeply at the airport of the things that happened today. Asking myself if it was God's will that I failed the medical examination? Asking myself should I have faith for my mom's told me to have hope? I was also thinking about him and how I will never get to see him again for I did not pass the examination. I thought maybe God did not want me to get this job because He is not the reason. I was thinking at that point that I was sad that I did not get the job but I was sadder because I will not see him again. It was very stupid of me I think to think of that reason for God is the reason why I am doing everything. If I get this job, I want to act as a Christian spreading the love of Christ in that institution. I thought maybe it was not God's will. It was very hard for me to accept and offer this to Him. He knows my heartaches, depressions, and suffering at the moment. And I have faith in Him.

At 5PM that day, I met an old woman who was heading for Roxas City in Capiz. She told me her flight was also scheduled at 4AM. She talked to me and even bought me food at Jollibee. She told me she knew a guard inside and we would be able to get in earlier than the supposed time. It was a blessing from above! We entered the check-in area at the airport at 8:00PM but supposedly we were to enter at 2AM! Thank You Lord. When we went inside, I met another woman who was having problems with her excess baggage. The old woman I was with offered that I might help her since we're both heading to Davao. I do not have any luggages so I offered to carry her excess 15kg. She was very very thankful! She offered me a blanket so I could sleep. I haven't had proper sleep for the last 32 hours and when I saw the empty benches, I did not hesitate to lie down and sleep. The 4 hours of sleep I had felt sooo good. It was 2AM and it was time to check our baggage in. After that, the woman felt grateful that she paid for my terminal fee. She also bought food for me. I told her about my lost pearl earring and she gave me 2 pairs of pearl earrings! She even told me we would go to the Duty Free in Davao so that she could buy me chocolates.

We reached Davao but I told her that all the things she did for me were enough.

I felt like throughout my Manila journey on July 17-19, 2011, God was there with me and will forever be. The people I met are my answered prayers. They were like angels that He sent to guide and help me. He had always been there for me. It was like He was telling me that He values a person like me. He is concerned about a tiny speck like me in this big world. I am constantly in His eye.

I now do not have any job. I quit my tutorial job for this opportunity that also fell out of my hands. But God is merciful, He gave me a student so that I can do private tutorials, and I will start on August 22.

My family is currently having financial issues but I know that beyond the problems, the heartaches, depression, difficulty, and storms that we are going through right now. God sees it. He is just testing the gold and putting in through the fire so that it will come out shinier. I believe in Him. We should all have faith for even though we are tiny little specks and we don't deserve His grace or mercy, He sees us, and His love overflows.

By reading the Bible tonight I have learned that that job, nor money, nor anything is important. Eternal life, God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit is what's important.

Romans 2:7 "He will give eternal life to those who persist in doing what is good, seeking after the glory and honor and immortality that God offers."

by jiL at 10:51 PM |