It's Gettin' Crazy

God Is With Me~

2011-08-10T22:51:00.002+08:00

A week before July 16, 2011, I was preparing to leave my job at Level Up for the reason that I believe I was not pleasing God anymore. I was constantly complaining and backstabbing my boss for mistreating her employees. I would complain that she was not being considerate and insensitive. Even months before, I was looking for a way out Level Up for aside from the reason stated above, I believe no professional growth would happen to me. I was praying to God for a way out.

Then things happened. The reason why I could not leave was because of my students especially the kids. Then the news came that Chelsea would not be coming back and also Yoon Chan. I took it as God's way of telling me that this year, it would be okay to leave. Then around July, a friend messaged me on Facebook that she had a plan and asked me whether I was willing to take part of it. Thinking that maybe this was God's way out, I grabbed the opportunity. It was a plan to work abroad in KSA. I don't know why but maybe it was a spur of the moment that I took the opportunity and started processing my papers. I never prayed or offered this decision to God. When my friend told me about faking the papers, I had a heavy heart. I really didn't think it was a good idea, so I prayed to God and asked Him for forgiveness of what I am doing and about to do. Everything was set and our flight was on July 23, 2011.

On July 15, 2011, an unexpected text message arrived. It was from PAGCOR HR department asking me to take a pre-employment examination in their office at Ermita, Manila. I was jumping up and down of excitement and happiness. I wanted to get that job for myself and for my family! At that time, I felt like those were God's escape routes. After being so happy, it hit me that I haven't been to Manila. I have never ridden an airplane. Questions like "where am I gonna live?" "What am I gonna do?", started popping on my mind. That night, I earnestly prayed and cried out to God my anxiety asking for His guidance as I go to Manila. I quit my job on July 16, 2011, and told them I had an opportunity waiting for me.

I was constantly praying and thanking God for this opportunity. The happiness I felt in my heart that time was so great. I bought my tickets on July 17, 2011 and my flight was at 10:30PM that night. I was alone at the airport but I know God is with me. When I entered the airplane, I met a guy named Rodele. He was my seatmate and he asked me whether I was studying in Manila. I said "no", and explained that it was my first time going there to take an exam. He asked me where I was going to stay. I answered that I would probably stay and spend the night at the airport for I do not know anyone in Manila. He told me about his purpose of staying in Manila. He told me that he was a seaman from Bukidnon and was only going to Manila for a visa appearance and he was going to fly back.

When we reached the airport, he helped me with baggages. I was carrying a box of suha that time and he was the one who carried it. He stayed with the whole night at the airport. He was like God's angel helping me. We stayed at the benches around the airport for the whole night. I couldn't sleep because of the cold wind piercing on my skin. It was a very hard night for me. My mother's friend was also constantly calling asking where I was and who I was with. I honestly told her my situation and she suddenly got so worried that I was with a man. Rodele offered to take me to PAGCOR House at 5 in the morning but my mother's friend told me not to go with him and stay at the airport because she asked her friend to fetch me so that I can take a bath in her place. I willingly obeyed.

When morning came, Rodele and I looked for coffee shops or any restaurant but there weren't any restaurants open at that time. I just ate the biscuits I brought but it was not enough to fill my empty stomach. It was 7:20AM when Gina, the friend of my mom's friend came to fetch me. She was very kind and she took me to her boarding house so that I could take a bath there. She also helped me find a taxi so that I can go to the PAGCOR House.

When I reached the PAGCOR House, I was carrying a lot of baggages. I told the guard that the box of suha was for a specific person and thankfully he let me leave the box on a corner. It was 8:30AM and he asked me to go out and wait first for it was not yet 9AM (the time of my exam). I obeyed him. When I went out, a voice suddenly came from behind me, startling me. It was a man in business attire asking if I was also there for the exam. I said yes and he motioned me to stay on the benches across the building to wait. He asked me when I submitted my application. He also asked me about my love life. I learned a lot about him too. He told me he has worked in New York for 3 years as a bartender. He told me that he once waited outside the US Embassy at 2AM until it opened and he was the fifth customer. He told me the reason why he left the US. He told me about his family, about his mom, and his grandmother. I told him that this was my Manila adventure and he offered to take me to different places in Manila to make my trip worthwhile. I asked him what he will be doing in the afternoon and he said he had no plans until he met me. I was not able to reply. He was a great person to talk to. It is just sad that he is a smoker.

When it was time for us to go in, he offered to carry my bag and I would refuse. I said it's okay. Examination came. It was 35 items to be answered for 15 minutes. It was an exam impossible to pass for it tested your intelligence in Maths and English. I was prepared to go home. I texted my mom and her friend that it was very very difficult. In God's grace, amazingly, they considered me!! They asked some to leave and some to stay. They told me that the only person who passed the exam was my new found friend but they were considering us. I was truly grateful! Then the next step would be the medical examination. I never thought the medical examination was to be conducted that day. When I saw that they were testing the BMI, Height, and Ishihara, I doubted I would pass my BMI, let alone my height. Still I proceeded to take my medical examinations. When we went down to the clinic, he was the one carrying my bag and I was thanking him. He told me that I should be happy I got this far and that this trip is not useless. We got to talk for a long time while waiting for our turn. I was one of the first five who signed up but I forgot to take a number so I went to being one of the first five to being the last. The funny thing was that he was the last before I took the number so we were able to sit together again and talk. I learned a lot about his life in just a short amount of time. I felt happy and at the same time awkward talking to him. Then our turn came.

The results came and I failed on every test. It was very difficult for someone who hasn't got any sleep to pass the Ishihara test, believe me. I took the test again when I went back to Davao with enough sleep and I perfected it. It is also difficult and impossible for an underweight person who did not eat breakfast and lunch to pass the BMI test. This I was sure I would fail. When they assessed my height, I could not believe I was only 4'8". It was difficult to accept for a 4'11 or 5' like me. I thought maybe it was because of my posture. I was carrying heavy baggage that day from the airport to the examination area that I was probably the feminine image of Hunchback of Notre Damme. It was heartbreaking. We went back to give our results but she gave me a piece of paper of disqualification from being employed. I was heartbroken and depressed. I do not know if my face showed my feelings. I texted my mom and her friend of what happened. I was supposed to go out with my new friends when I remembered my mom's friend asked me an errand. I had to get her loan cheque. I told them I was going up again to the office and he told me to take care. I went back up to get the cheque but they wouldn't allow me telling me that they should fax the authorization letter first. I constantly texted my mother's friend about the situation but there was no reply. So I took a taxi and went back to the airport to book my flight home. While I was in the taxi, she called me, asking me where I was and begging for me to go back and get her cheque. I told her I would go back after I buy my tickets.

I went back to the PAGCOR House to get her cheque then back again to the airport. It was only 3PM of July 18, 2011 and my flight was scheduled 04:35AM of July 19, 2011. I was thinking deeply at the airport of the things that happened today. Asking myself if it was God's will that I failed the medical examination? Asking myself should I have faith for my mom's told me to have hope? I was also thinking about him and how I will never get to see him again for I did not pass the examination. I thought maybe God did not want me to get this job because He is not the reason. I was thinking at that point that I was sad that I did not get the job but I was sadder because I will not see him again. It was very stupid of me I think to think of that reason for God is the reason why I am doing everything. If I get this job, I want to act as a Christian spreading the love of Christ in that institution. I thought maybe it was not God's will. It was very hard for me to accept and offer this to Him. He knows my heartaches, depressions, and suffering at the moment. And I have faith in Him.

At 5PM that day, I met an old woman who was heading for Roxas City in Capiz. She told me her flight was also scheduled at 4AM. She talked to me and even bought me food at Jollibee. She told me she knew a guard inside and we would be able to get in earlier than the supposed time. It was a blessing from above! We entered the check-in area at the airport at 8:00PM but supposedly we were to enter at 2AM! Thank You Lord. When we went inside, I met another woman who was having problems with her excess baggage. The old woman I was with offered that I might help her since we're both heading to Davao. I do not have any luggages so I offered to carry her excess 15kg. She was very very thankful! She offered me a blanket so I could sleep. I haven't had proper sleep for the last 32 hours and when I saw the empty benches, I did not hesitate to lie down and sleep. The 4 hours of sleep I had felt sooo good. It was 2AM and it was time to check our baggage in. After that, the woman felt grateful that she paid for my terminal fee. She also bought food for me. I told her about my lost pearl earring and she gave me 2 pairs of pearl earrings! She even told me we would go to the Duty Free in Davao so that she could buy me chocolates.

We reached Davao but I told her that all the things she did for me were enough.

I felt like throughout my Manila journey on July 17-19, 2011, God was there with me and will forever be. The people I met are my answered prayers. They were like angels that He sent to guide and help me. He had always been there for me. It was like He was telling me that He values a person like me. He is concerned about a tiny speck like me in this big world. I am constantly in His eye.

I now do not have any job. I quit my tutorial job for this opportunity that also fell out of my hands. But God is merciful, He gave me a student so that I can do private tutorials, and I will start on August 22.

My family is currently having financial issues but I know that beyond the problems, the heartaches, depression, difficulty, and storms that we are going through right now. God sees it. He is just testing the gold and putting in through the fire so that it will come out shinier. I believe in Him. We should all have faith for even though we are tiny little specks and we don't deserve His grace or mercy, He sees us, and His love overflows.

By reading the Bible tonight I have learned that that job, nor money, nor anything is important. Eternal life, God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit is what's important.

Romans 2:7 "He will give eternal life to those who persist in doing what is good, seeking after the glory and honor and immortality that God offers."

A Love Lost

2010-10-08T21:40:00.003+08:00

It was the 13th of July 2010 when I entered the gates of my new found job. It was a job I longed for months. God blessed me with an amazing company and working environment. I am very grateful to Him for this gift.
It was when I met him. He was my student for the second hour. He would always wear a cap. He seemed meek and timid so I tried my best to be conversant and bubbly as possible to omit the awkwardness coupled with the first meeting. I didn't know why but I would feel a sense of frisson everytime I enter his class. I would tell my friends about our conversations and they would insist that I like him. Maybe I did. But then the problem is that he is not a Christian. He goes to a Christian church but he doesn't believe in God. When the conversation topic would be all about love, I would always ask him about his past relationships, and then he would ask me about mine. I would usually ignore it or change the subject, until I prayed to God and asked Him what I should do. I told him the truth. I said that I don't plan to have boyfriends until I reach the age of 26 because I don't want to be selfish. I want my family's finances to be stable first before I search for my own happiness. He understood and we proceeded with our conversations.
He said that I was the kind of girl he would want to marry except that he wanted his wife to be a social drinker and would be able to tolerate a certain amount of alcohol. He would always stare at me and I would either get annoyed or irritated. I told him to stop staring at me and stop telling me I'm pretty or that I'm an angel. He laughed.
I never appreciated his little actions until the time when he suddenly broke the news that he was going home sooner than expected. It was hard for me to accept but it was harder for my 2 co-teachers whom he spent his 6 months with. I didn't know how to react. It was hard and difficult. They were crying. I was baffled. Four days before he left, I woke up at 3am in the morning, went to the balcony and cried. It was at that moment that I reminisced my encounters with him and then it hit me like an anvil pounding on my head that he was really leaving.
We went to samal island and held a farewell party 2 days before he left. We stayed there overnight. They cooked samgyupsal. He was feeding me from time to time and even made a lettuce wrap for me. I really appreciated it. He showed me his magic tricks. We played games and the consequence of the one who lost will be hit. He wanted me to get hit because he thinks I'll learn to be stronger that way.
Then October 7, 2010 came. His final day in the Philippines. I would never forget his simple act of kindness by putting the straw on my drink and offering it to me. Then I hugged him before he left.

Now, I'm praying for him. Hopefully, God will give him guidance. And I pray that he would know God and accept Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. If that happens and we meet each other 5 years from now, maybe something can happen. Only God knows... I'll leave it all up to him, and do my part and have faith in Him and His plans~

Unforgettable Moments

2009-12-02T19:32:00.003+08:00

My life has been a whirlwind these past few days..
Since the month of June I have conditioned my self in preparation for the November nursing board exam. I have prayed to God that He would grant me good health during those times. Little did I know, something would happen...

During the last few months nearing my board exam, I have started withdrawing from kpop and delving greater time into prayer and reflection. I wanted my relationship with God back. I wanted that feeling of joy in His presence. And so I started listening to Christian music, reading Christian books, and courageously attending to a new church alone. I really felt His presence in me growing that I would be greatly touched by the songs played in church as well as the service presented by the pastor.
Little did I know that a trial would try to shake my faith from Him. Just 8 days prior to my board exam,November 21, 2009 (saturday), my younger brother got sick. He got a fever that got worse as the days pass by. I continually prayed for his healing but the fever persisted. We went to Davao Medical Center on Monday to have him admitted but they rejected him saying that he would just be healed by taking the medicines the doctor their prescribed. We went home relieved and I was thankful at that moment.

The fever still persisted and was now coupled with headache and intense abdominal pain. Our family continued to manage him as the doctor ordered us, but to no avail, he did not get any better. On Wednesday, November 25, 2009, while I was at my review center, my parents decided to rush him to San Pedro Hospital. He was finally admitted there with an impending diagnosis of Dengue Hemorrhagic Fever. I visited him at the hospital that night, and he was definitely in pain. My parents decided for me to stay home and study for my upcoming exam. I did study, but my brother was constantly on my mind. I prayed to God not for myself but for my younger brother. Even though I know that the board exam is important, my brother is much more important. My prayers were all for my brother and nothing for myself.

Thursday came and I was at my review center that morning. During lunch, I went to the hospital to visit him. During my visit, the nurses gave us a request slip for 6 units of platelet concentrate. Learning that my brother only had 20+ platelet, I rushed to the Red Cross to obtain blood with only 1,500php in my pocket. The staff at Red Cross were very much accommodating and I was thankful that they had available platelet concentrate and were willing to give to me with the condition that I had to replace them. When the bill came, I was shocked to find that I was 3,720php short of money. I called my mom at that moment to ask for more money but she rejected me saying that she does not have any. She then instructed me to buy a suppository because she believed that this could relieve my brother of his abdominal pain, and also to buy durian to raise his platelet. She told me at that time that the blood cannot raise my brother's platelet but only durian. I was for a long time quiet, and was taken aback by what she said. In the end, she told me to meet her at the hospital.

I arrived at the hospital before her. The thought that was on my mind was that that God would provide. When my mom came, she was in much anxiety that she was actually acting hysterically. She actually bought a suppository and was deliberately asking me almost begging me to administer it to my younger brother. I did not move from my place. She was speaking so low, so fast, and was pacing back and forth saying that this could relieve my younger brother's abdominal pain. And that we have no money to buy for the blood needed. A few moments later, I could not anymore hold back my feelings that I just bowed my head at the hospital bed and cried. This was not how it's supposed to be. My mom had let me studied nursing for 4 years only to let me do that? In the end, my mom did it. She told me to stop crying and gave me an additional 1,500php to add for the blood. I was thankful but it was still not enough. My mom and dad went out from the hospital to buy durian. I was left alone at that moment with my younger brother and I was praying to God at that moment for 1,500php. Just 1,500php Lord from heaven. And God did provide. At 3.30pm that afternoon, I went to my mom and with the help of another person (who was an instrument of God to help us) lended us with 1,500php. The Lord is definitely wonderful! I rushed to Red Cross to obtain the blood with the promise that I would replace it with donors within 1 week.

That night I thanked God and prayed to him that things would be ok and that my brother would finally be healed. The night after that, on the 27th, 2 days before my board exam, the doctor ordered another 6 units of platelet because my brother's platelet is still falling. We did not have enough money at that time. I though it was okay to delay it because my brother has previously been transfused of blood and his platelet has now probably risen. I was not expecting the doctor's statement that my brother's platelet was now only down to 8. It was 10pm and was raining when my mother and I decided to go home together to get some money for the blood. The rain was pouring so hard and the only transportation that we had was a "trisikad". At that moment, the thought was Jesus Christ's last word when He was on the cross. I also felt that the Lord refused to look at me. It was raining and flooding and I was continually praying when we reached Red Cross. It was very unfortunate that they had no available platelet concentrate. We proceeded to San Pedro Hospital with our trisikad to tell the doctor. The doctor then advised us to look for blood at the Blood Bank at DMC or at Carmen. We rode a trisiboat to reach DMC, but sad to say, it was not open. It was still raining when my mom and I decided to pursue Carmen to find blood.

We went by jeepney to Buhangin at around 11.30pm in the hopes to find a bus to ride to Carmen. We waited for 20 minutes but nothing came. A couple of taxis came, and on the second taxi, the driver agreed to take us to Carmen back and forth for 700php. It was a cold ride, but the rain was slowly stopping. I was still praying to God in the taxi, assuring myself that God really will provide. That He will not leave us nor forsake us. That with the slowing down of the rain, He will also slowly look at us and help us. We reached Carmen not knowing where to go, and thankfully with the help of a few people, we were able to get to the blood bank. Thank God and Praise God, there was available platelet concentrate. We hurried back to Davao and reached San Pedro Hospital at around 1.10am. We went to the laboratory and had the blood retyped and also visited my younger brother. My mother then made my brother drink some herbal medicines.

My mother and I decided to go home and reached home at around 2am. I rested for 5 minutes, made myself ready to sleep. I read my Bible. I was reading Micah and the one that struck me was the verse that said "you committed so many sins that I cannot barely look at you". It was very clear that that was God's message to me. I prayed then and asked God for forgiveness. Also asking Him to help my younger brother and telling Him that I would lie low on my kpop and not anymore go into fandom. I will definitely fulfill that promise. My brother was healed and was discharged at the hospital on December 01, 2009.

2009-10-21T17:36:00.001+08:00

I decided to transfer this post from my tagged account since I'm soon be deleting it^^

Nov.12, 2008 post..
Wow...I have never been so blessed! I was so sick yesterday...and I woke up early midnight thinking that I missed Sunday capping practice at school because I was at home resting...I got really worried! coz I was thinking today was Monday! But then I realized that it's not...thank God! So I woke up today..Sunday moring at 9:30 am...ate my brunch and by 12:00noon..I was off to school...? When I got there....I was totally shocked that I forgot to bring a candle! And if the practice coordinator would find out I haven't got one...I would might as well get an extension and pay....huhuhu...but then my classmate was able to bring an extra candle and lining and offered to give it to me...I was really very much thankful!! Everyone was having a commotion about the bringing of the ORF.....toink!...another problem! I lost my ORF.....Another friend came asking me to accompany her to "disenyo" to get her uniform...and it hit me like a bullet that i forgot to get my uniform....and the deadline was supposed to be today! I was also worried that the store would close at 4:30 pm knowing that during sundays, their store hours are from 9:30am-4:30pm...and our practice would not end until 5pm! 5pm came....and the coordinator announced that we are to wear our type c tomorrow...and that we are to photocopy our ORFs..because if not...we will be marked absent...which means one day extension...! I was like....oh my...what was i gonna do?? I don't have a uniform and an ORF! I was really praying to God in my seat when I remembered the philippians verse which says.."don't be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition, present all your requests to God, and peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Then something inside me says everything will be fine, so i stopped worrying.....Suddenly, everything went smoothly well...we went to "disenyo" and amazing! the store was open at 5:15pm! I went home prepared for the extensive search for my ORF...but voila! I immediately saw it on the table, inserted with some other papers..but I saw it instantly! Wow! I could have shouted for joy! I could've sang praises! The feeling was truly amazing! I really felt the presence of God being in control....thank You God!!

Flood~

2009-07-17T21:46:00.003+08:00

I decided to go to the mall after my review classes to buy a connector from my mp3 to the computer so that I can charge it. I knew that the customers in that store waited for the longest time even though they have a systematic way of handling customers and that is by giving numbers. My number was 19 numbers away from the current number being catered. Since I needed this, I decided to pray to God to give me patience. It was truly a test of patience for I stood at the store for the longest hour witnessing how slow the employers are at catering their customers. I did not cuss and I took off all the bad stuff in my mind and prayed for patience at all After waiting for almost like an hour [or more] at the gadget store, I finally got my item.
When approaching the exit of the mall, I could see the vigorous pouring of the rain. I knew this had to be one of the worst rains, and that this kind of rain would not stop easily.I decided to take the longer route to my house by taking the Route 4 which will go to bajada, cabaguio, agdao, then to my destination. Upon riding the jeepney, I could vividly see the strong pour of the rain, and then and there I prayed to God that when I reach my destination, I pray that He would have already stopped the rain or at least slowed it down because I don't want to be soaking wet reaching home. Seeing how selfish my prayer was, I then prayed to God for my mom to have a better shelter at her workplace. And that He would answer that prayer more than He would answer mine.
So then the ride to my home began. The rain never stopped pouring and we reached to the road when there was visible flood. This was at the Bajada road and the flood reached at the knee level of an ordinary person. The jeepney was at first doing okay, and in my mind I was really cheering on for the jeepney to pass this challenge, but unexpectedly, in the middle of the flood, the jeepney stopped. There were a few men willing to push the jeepney for a cost and our jeepney driver had no other choice but to give them money and ask for their help. They helped us get through the flood. But one of them even exhorted money from us, aside from asking from the driver, and I really thought that was very rude of them.
When I thought that was the end of it, the jeepney suddenly won't start. I was quite worried at first, thinking of a way of how I could get myself out of here. I practically looking for other jeepneys or even taxis, but then I thought I could only get myself wet. I'd rather stay inside the jeepney and wait for the rain to stop than to risk myself out there. I continued to pray to God while the driver was also continuously trying to start the car. After another few minutes, the jeepney sounded like it was ready to take off, and I was praying and praying at my seat for God to let the jeepney start. Thankfully He did. He answered my prayer. Not only that, when I reached my destination, the rain slowed down. It slowed down. Again, it slowed down. God for the second time answered my prayer. There was no trisikad to ride, but thankfully the rain was slow enough not to let me be thoroughly wet.

Thank You Lord for answering my prayer.=)

My Thoughts on Love...

2009-06-12T21:52:00.002+08:00

I have no boyfriend since birth.

I guess I chose not to. The boys in my life..
1. My first real crush. aka The first person who made my heart skip a beat.
My schoolmate who asked my name at the library when I was in my first year in high school. Not much people know this but he was my crush all throughout high school until he graduated. I kept a diary of our encounters but it's now gone.T_T. I lost it. I asked God for an "impossible" sign when I was in my 2nd year of high school that if this guy is meant for me, then let me see him on tv. I did. I did see him on tv 6 years after as an audience of a popular show.
My feelings for him is like a rollercoaster, sometimes it escalates, sometimes it goes down to its lowest point. And I don't see him that often. Which is the reason why I really really have to let go of this person. I think I am. I will very soon be able to totally forget him.

2. The first person who courageously asked my number.
He is cute. He courageously asked my number without any hesitation. Most guys would befriend a girl first but this one's different. I immediately was turned off knowing that he smokes and drinks. Although he's the type of guy you can display and proudly say he's "your guy", I believe that in the long run, the relationship will totally not work out. He is not the guy for me because he is not the guy that I prayed for.

My ideal love story:
I would meet my love one when I'm in my early twenties. He would fit the category I prayed to God for, Christian, handsome, rich, intelligent, sweet, tall, not a smoker or a drinker, and is a family guy. We would gradually fall for each other. Our relationship would go through ups and downs but we would put God in the center. We will kiss and do everything else when we get married.

This may sound lame to a lot of people but that really is my kind of love story. I want my first to be my last. No offense to a lot of people but I don't really want to have a boyfriend who I met at a club or I had a chat on the internet with, or texted with. Plus, I also don't like texting people, I prefer calling.

Ha! This is actually the reason why I have no boyfriend. I choose not to and I'm way too picky. I hope to stand to this principle and I really really pray that with the help of God I'll meet him at the right place and time.

P.S. Of course there are times when I yearn for someone to be with me. Especially seeing my classmates and friends that there's people taking care of them and treating them specially well. But I have to stand to my principle and not stumble.

My Strategic Plan

2009-06-12T21:36:00.000+08:00

I decided to blog about my strategic plan and review these a few years after to see if I really was able to achieve this~~

Steps in my strategic plan~~
1. Make money.
2. Use that money to train for chinese/korean/japanese language in their respective country on my post board exam.
3. Get my license back in the Philippines.
4. Apply for some trainings.
5. Apply for a working visa on that country...
6. Fly to that country to work as a nurse..

What am I doing at this point in time to achieve that dream?
1. I am a sales consultant of Filinvest..I sell condominium units at One Oasis.
* I haven't sold any yet..=( *care to buy?* I haven't found people willing to invest on condominiums...
2. I am planning to apply as a part time medical transcriptionist... If they'll accept me, I 'll use the money to help the bills in the house, to use it as my own allowance, and save it for the language training later on.

Well, so far..that's still it... Hopefully, I will be able to be successful in this..
I have to be positive and think that I will..I will!! with the help of God. ^_^

One Sided Love

2008-12-30T22:51:00.001+08:00

One Sided Love
by Statexofxclarity

Isn't that what people say?
That one-sided love is the hardest.
Always like a master handling his puppet.
Always like a kid playing with a toy.
Love is said to be the greatest feeling.
Perfect in its own way.
Yet flawlessness doesn't exist.
So there must be an error.
The mistake of a one-sided love.

The way that love is warm, it is the same way cruel.
Though it may be a blessing.
It leaves behind a victim to suffer.
In this case, me.

You have no idea what you left me with.
All the memories you threw away, I chose to gather.
The thoughts of you walking away.
The question of why I wasn't good enough?
Self doubt which refused to fade.
Each and every tear fell for you.
I spent hours in the rain...in the dark.
The only places I could reach for comfort.
The only shadows that taught me to escape...
Just for a little while.
And all the wishes wasted on you.
The whispers I choked out into the night.
The times where I could hardly breathe...
Just because you were you.
Just because you broke into my heart.
Just because.

Well...now I'm tired.
To a certain point where I can't stand you.
So take the chains off of me.
Take all the things I've done for you.
Consider them my last.
And still you won't know how precious...
My heart was in the care of your hands.
Goodbye.

I say a one-sided love lacks faith.
That this kind of love can't clash with destiny.
And that love might mean something delicate and pretty...
In the beginning.
However, just like a rose...
Everything beautiful has to wither and die...
In the end.
And this is the conclusion of this one-sided love story.
Heavenly to tragic.

But don't people also say that, to a finish there is another start.
So hope shouldn't fail or diminish.
As these petals of pain disappear.
Love will bloom once again.
This will always and forever be fate.

credits to: http://www.best-love-poems.com

...explains how i feel...

Donghae ...Donghae ...Donghae..

2008-12-29T20:17:00.006+08:00

I think I give up..
I'm giving him up...
who? Lee Donghae...
I know..he was not even mine in the first place..
but I think I'm giving up my admiration for him for the time being...
I'm going on a Donghae hiatus until ....until I don't know..T_T
but for the time being...that's how I'm feeling...
the reason?
watch the vids below...

You may say I'm jealous...well I probably am...
Watching the first beat made my heart skip a beat...
I really really wanted to be at the girl's shoes at that moment...
But the song....??? not the song I wanted Donghae to sing..T_T
The second vid really made me.......made me....cringe?
No..I can't say the word cringe..because I like Donghae..I'm not angry with him..
it's just the song..and his..."actions"..who would do those things in front of a number of people live?
Aaahhh..i really didn't like it..although many found it "sexy" and labeled his actions.."hot"..but for me it just isn't...
He is just too perrvyyy for me these days....
Check out the song..."Nice and Slow" by Usher...even the music video speaks for itself...
the lyrics of the song contains.."I'll make love to you until the sun comes up"
haish~~~~
A week or 2 weeks before...
He started calling his girl fans.."bao bei"..then started hugging fans at fanmeetings..then this...~haish~

I think my fishie needs some love...I think he's longing for a girlfriend...
and I think..the feeling*longingness* that he's feeling...he's taking it out on stuff like these....*this is just my theory*...^_^

I hope he sings Edwin McCaine songs..or 98 degrees songs..
Maybe Ne-yo songs would do...
Usher's songs are just a bit.....*fill in the blanks*=)

A Very Important Lesson..

2008-12-08T23:04:00.002+08:00

Have you done something that you got caught in the act?

This question has been asked during our Bible Study at CYF but I didn't get the courage to answer that I was once caught cheating when I was in Grade 3 by my classmates. Since I was an honor student, my teacher would not believe that I would cheat. Hmm.now that I think of that incident.. I think I cheated for 2 reasons.. one because I didn't get to study..the second was to feel what it was like to cheat...
I found out that it was not nice...

Hmmm..tonight..I got caught in the act too... When I was in my 3rd year high school, I clearly promised myself and to God not to indulge in lust or anything with sexual content that will ever corrupt my mind. I loved reading pocketbooks until I got to read books with sexual content....you know those... time came when I really was into those books... but I was guilty after reading them...
They corrupted my mind and my relationship with God because those books can take the time you set aside from God. Aside from that, they promote premarital sex which is against the law of God.
And so, I asked for permission and vowed not to ever read those again. I told God to do everything in His power just to stop me from reentering into those things again..
until tonight...
These past few days I've been worse..worst in fact..
Maybe it is out of boredom that I go back those stuff...
There were a lot of things that God did about it.. a lot just to keep me from reading or indulging myself in those stuff...but I think I was just so hard-headed and I just wouldn't listen to Him...

until I was watching a music video....in the middle of the music video...a picture appeared.. a picture of a guy and a girl having sex but only their heads were shown.. but it was quite obvious what they were doing...
my mom suddenly opened the door in my room and saw that.
~owwwww~~
it was like caught in the act but not really in the act, which is much more worse I believe...

awww..now how I wish I could undo things...haay...
God really did keep His promise of doing everything to keep me away from it.
And since it's hard for me to listen to Him, He used another plan.
Now I'm super duper guilty...
I feel like the worse person living...the fithiest...horrible..horrible..
I hate asking forgiveness because I'm embarrassed with God already for doing this sin over and over again. But I know I need to. And I need to mean it.
God needs to know that I will never want to engage in this stuff ever again.
And I mean EVER AGAIN!! *until I get married*=)

sorry...sorry..i'm so sorry...
i feel so shameful..

Last Day of Headnursing

2008-11-09T20:12:00.002+08:00

Last Day of Headnursing at PICU

Hmm..did something happen? Nothing much actually... Only that my fellow headnursing and staffing student treated us with pizza at Bruggers!! *yay!* So delicious..yum yum!!
None of my long-time patients were there. I decided to give them something but they weren't there already. Not that they died..*God forbid!*..only that one transferred to the ward and the other transferred to another hospital. I decided to give my evangeli-cube to the 7 year old little girl but she had already gone to DMC. Her father paid a visit, and I had the urge to hand the cube to him but I hesitated... Now that I think of it..I think I shouldn't have hesitated...
I wish her well and pray for her fast recovery...

I'm So Scared coz I Might Break..

2008-11-09T20:09:00.002+08:00

Scared coz I Might Break...

I think I've built a wall around me...and I'm quite scared to let someone break into those walls.....

Last Days are Memorable!

2008-10-12T20:06:00.003+08:00

Last days are Memorable!

I don't know why but ever since 3rd year college during my RLE duty, something unexpected happens during the last day. I don't know why or maybe it's just me that's thinking too much..sigh~
Yesterday was my last day of staffing duty. The Pedia-ICU [the unit which I was assigned to] had three patients. One was super duper critical, the other moderately critical, and the last was already quite fine. I thought, being only a staffing student nurse, the nurse on duty would assign me to the patient who needs the least critical care. The moment she uttered the words and assigned me to the most critical patient, I was like..."sure ka mam?"
The patient was a few days old with severely complicated diseases. The baby also had numerous side drips and IV lines. The baby is also to be suctioned as needed.He had an NVS of 2/8. And did I mention that when I received my patient, he was currently on blood transusion.I was really like..aiyooo~~ can I handle this?
For the first 3 hours, I was scrambling in the ward. I was not able to start my charting until 7pm! Good thing things got smoothly after 7pm. I was feeling organized and had a little control on things.
It finally was 11pm and ha! I made it!^_^ I browsed through my charting and realized that that has been my longest charting in my entire student nurse life. Not only that, most of it were indented which meant that I mostly did procedures or administered meds.
Haish~ it was a hard last day, but I'm glad I successfully went through it! I know I've learned a lot! I never thought a single day could give me so much lessons! hehehe..^_^ so never waste your day, ok?^_^ God bless~!!

A different taste..^_^

2008-10-08T16:42:00.003+08:00

I found an account on youtube months ago..
She posts vids of her playing the piano of some kpop/jpop/c-pop songs!
and she IS very gooood! I've been visiting her account since then...
her youtube account name is keudae
here are some of my favorites!

#5
Hi-Ya-Ya by DBSK

#4
Lies by Big Bang [piano & drums remix]
i love how the drums and piano match!^_^

#3
Wonderboy by Super Junior
pretty good..really!

#2
Haru Haru by Big Bang [piano & drums]
luuuuvvv this version! awww...

#1 [drumroll please..hehe]
Marry U by Super Junior
this tops my list! i love how she did this! she doesn't even have music sheets..!
she only plays it by ears...wow!

here's her latest post!
it's a bangin piano version of DBSK's current single Mirotic:

Do check out her youtube..!
Her account name is keudae!^_^

Shinee and 2PM! woohoo!

2008-10-08T16:26:00.002+08:00

This video is just adorable!!!
I got this from the One Day forum and I can't help but not repost this!
I'm a big Shinee and 2pm fan and this video actually made my day...
awwww...watch watch watch!!

Isn't it cute? Jonghyun sings the some parts of the 10 out of 10 song..even did the "2PM" hand sign!
and ha! Khun is just too clever! he noticed the cam!^__^
the cutest thing!

thanks to misterkrabspatties @ youtube for uploading and editing this vid!^__^

I Have to Learn to appreciate SACRIFICE

2008-08-27T20:50:00.004+08:00

I have to learn to appreciate sacrifice

Last night, I was really stressed. I was worrying about my finishing my brother’s book report, enhancing our ncm report, and making my nursing care plan. I did my brother’s book report first and ended already at 11pm. The two of us even had a fight because when I took the usb wire out of the desktop computer’s CPU, the monitor suddenly turned off. He got so mad because during that time, he was playing an online game. I didn’t say sorry. I guess that was my bad. Now I think I should have said sorry. What I did instead was to add oil to the fire. I met his anger with my anger and frustration. I was almost shouting at him telling him that he should not act that way because it’s his project I am making. I felt really really bad that I went upstairs to my room. I intended not to print and give him his book report that was to be submitted the day after.

Upstairs, despite my anger and frustration, I was able to reflect on a lot of things especially on the issue of sacrificing. I constantly asked myself, “why am I sacrificing?” and “Why am I the only one suffering?”. I even recalled the sacrifices I did in the past and came to the conclusion that I don’t get benefits from my sacrifices. Thoughts of hating to sacrifice cam into my mind because I get nothing out of it. I thought of myself as being abused by other people when I try to sacrifice. I decided to sleep, not to read the Bible because I was not prepared to. I went to search for my phone to set the alarm. I was searching frantically when I realized that my phone was nowhere to be found! I searched downstairs then back upstairs, peering at every corner...none! I couldn't find my phone!! I wasn't ready to give up and continued searching.... When I finally became weary, I came to the conclusion that my phone was really gone. I recalled the past events that happened yesterday. I thought that my phone may have slipped from my pocket when I was riding the jeepney.

Because I thought I lost my phone, I realized that God must have decided that I was again endowed with worldly things (which is true..=< ) and decided to take my phone away from me. I was pacing back and forth praying to God not to take my phone from me. I was almost crying when I tried to open the Bible. I read the first few verses, decided to close the Bible because I was so preoccupied with my thoughts and decided to continue to pray. When I realized there's no more I can do, I began to turn off the lights and prepared my bed.

I was lying in my bed, in the midst of darkness thinking things through. I reflected on my life before. There were times back then when I chose to sacrifice and the results may not have benefited me materially, but I felt God's presence even more. It was so hard to sacrifice because sacrificing does not only entail giving a part of what you have but giving all that you have. I was able to do it before. Why is it so hard for me now?

I often frown or smirk when I realize I am sacrificing for nothing. That is what my thoughts are now. While I was reflecting, I realized that I was able to make sacrifices before with a smile on because I was not doing things to get material gain but I was doing things for God. I was thinking that if I do this and God will be pleased, then that's enough for me.

Sigh~ what happened to me?

Gong Zhu Bang vs. Jia Nan Shu

2008-06-26T19:00:00.002+08:00

Gong Zhu Bang vs. Jia Nan Shu!!

It's finally out!

I've been waiting for this videos since they had their recordings in one episode of Muo Fan Bang Bang Tang!
check out both their MVs!!

Gong Zhu Bang - (MV) Mao Xian Shi Jie

Jia Nan Shu - (MV) Mao Xian Shi Jie

I so so love the song!^__^
Comparing the two videos, I think I like Gong Zhu Bang's version! It's because I like their outfits [ahem..A Ben looks gorgeous!]..and their vocals are quite good too!

Jia Nan Shu's vid is good as well! What I like about their vid is their choreography especially the popping and breaking part! They are so good! I guess it's because Elmo is there! hahahaha!

I'll be looking forward to their future vids!!

I love ShineE!![Luuuuvvvv!]

2008-05-29T23:34:00.003+08:00

I love Shinee!

They are a new contemporary group that SM Town created. The members include Onew [leader], JongHyun, Key, Minho, and Taemin. Their ages range from 14-18, which means that I'm their noona [thanks!] haha. They're debut song is called "Noona is so Pretty [Replay]", and they also had their debut performance at SBS Inkigayo last May 25, 2008. I was totally amazed because they sung live! And they are such great dancers! Check out the MV below!^^

Among the members, I'm currently attracted to JongHyun. I believe he has the strongest vocals among them. He sung in Zhang Li Yin's "Wrongly Given Love" which was recorded in Mandarin language.
Check out his profile:
Jonghyun

Stage Name: 종현 / 钟铉

Real Name: Kim Jonghyun (김종형)

Nickname: Bling Bling Jonghyun

DOB: April 8th, 1990 (18 int'l ; 19 krn)

Height: 173cm

Bloodtype: AB

Family: Parents, sister

Hobby/Interest: Watching movies, Popping (dance), Lyrics, Piano, Mandarin

Appearances: Zhang Li Yin's 交錯的愛 (Wrongly Given Love)

Facts: He's the shortest out of the whole group. He also studying Chinese in Beijing in 2007.

Source ; Shinee Baidu Bar + TheSHINee.com

Translation Credit ; exotsia., melody, misuzu, shin;bi

Credit ; SHINee Forums

Things you don't know about me!

2008-05-19T21:30:00.002+08:00

Tagged by Pacu [a long time ago..hehe..^^]

Share 8 things that your readers don’t know about you.
Then at the end you tag 8 other bloggers to keep the fun going.
– Each blogger must post these rules first.
– Each blogger starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
– Bloggers who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
– At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
– Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
Share 6 weird things/Gross things that your readers don’t know about you.
Then at the end you tag 8 other bloggers to keep the fun going.
– Each blogger must post these rules first.
– Each blogger starts with six random facts/habits about themselves.
– Bloggers who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their six things and post these rules.
– At the end of your blog, you need to choose six people to get tagged and list their names.
– Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

** 8 things you don't know about me

1. Back in my elementary and high school days, I was quite timid. But I was super active playing with my neighbors at home.^^

2. I am obsessed with korean pop music, tawianese dramas, and korean movies!

3. I am quite good in doing the hula-hoop that I know how to walk with it..hehe..^^

4. I have eight nicknames both in school and at home. [hehe..nakakahiya i-reveal!]

5. My status is also NBSB. Hehe..still waiting pa eh...^^

6. I have high dreams and still waiting to reach them.

7. I resort to caffeine such as coffee to keep me awake. [I know it's not good but it works for me.]

8. I love entertainment, and if the artist that I like becomes too popular, I resort to another artist who is not too popular. haha..it has always been like this..^^

* 6 Gross or Weird Things that Your Readers Don't Know About You

1. I cannot endure sounds like styrofoams scraping on walls or hands rubbing on inflated cellophanes.
2. Me and my friend had an imaginary friend when we were 6 years old but never really saw him. He had a name btw.
3. I can do tongue tricks!
4. One of my ears is kind of weird..hehe..^^
5. I love spicy foods! [hehe..weird ba toh?]
6. I don't like texting. I'd prefer rather chat or call.

I tag:
rosalie^^
salvie^^
kyna^^
maia^^
jenny^^
sheena^^
pamela^^
jinggay^^

I will support you no matter what!!

2008-04-08T22:11:00.003+08:00

FAHRENHEIT AKA FEI LUN HAI

This group has been really through a lot of tough times. I remember back then (2006), I was only supporting Wu Chun. Later I knew of his band through Hana Kimi. I liked them despite my knowledge that they sometimes sing off tune.^^ But they know their weaknesses and each time they work really hard to please their fans with their songs. They have gone through a lot of rumors that the members fought and decided to be disbanded. But amidst all these things, their friendship was still not shaken.

Then came Arron's injury. It was so hard for the group and for the fans especially me to not see Arron dance and sit on the bench watching his co-members dance to Wo You Wo de Young. I really felt sad for him at the time. I wished that surgery could heal him. But it did not. Now, he says that he cannot anymore play basketball and endures the pain in filming action scenes in PiLi MIT.

The video below says it all. Even Wu Chun has his pains too. Living away from his family has been really hard for him. And Calvin is getting thin. Please don't tell me he is suffering from a disease.. Please don't...

If only I could share all the burdens they are carrying. But all I can do is to continue to support them. They are doing this for us, and I am doing this for them. I'll pray for you guys! Jia You! Wish you good health and more success!

To Arron: Don't keep thinking about what you lost. You have the best vocals and can still use them. That alone can make millions of people happy.

~God bless you!!^^

Meet Bada..^^

2008-04-07T23:09:00.002+08:00

Name: Bada (sorry..named him before I even knew he is male^^)
Gender: Male
Adopted: February 17, 2008
Age: ^^dunno^^ but he's 2 months since adoption
Breed: ^^dunno^^ if somebody can tell me..I'd be gratefeul! all I know is that he is half-breed^^

We took him to the beach!^^ haha! I love my dog so much! He's actually very caring and really gets excited when I'm around. Then one day, he became really weak and does not even eat. I was really worried T_T.....
Good thing he is ok now!
We'll continue to take care of you Bada!^^ Hwaiting!!

Then I Saw the Congoooo..!!

2008-04-03T13:09:00.001+08:00

haha! this is after the presentation...

remembering the moments..hehe..

This was last March 28, 2008 ..Friday..

I actually did not expect that as part of our make-up, we will all be covered in black...as in literally!! Girls had to wear tights and leotards, I wore long sleeves that day. I knew that at some point we would get painted but I did not expect it to be at this extent. I thought it would only be just our hands, feet and a part of our face. However, I guessed wrong...=( I got my face painted 30 minutes before the presentation started because I was so scared. I heard feedbacks like, "katol lagi siya", or "hapdos gud siya" ..heck..who would not be scared?! And so I got painted...the picture up there are pictures after the presentation. I kind of removed the paint already...=)

Before the pressentation started..we prayed. Prayer helps me calm knowing that God is beside me, giving me confidence. While we were praying, I had a prayer of my own and my only prayer is that God would give us the fruit of our labor....Amen.

And so the presentation...
Lub.dub.lub.dub.lub.dub.x10000 I was really nervous!! Plus...we were picked as the first presentors!!

Everybody was constantly reminding everyone to have their presence of mind..but I was actually thinking......that this ...its outcome should be brilliant.

Fat black bucks in a wine barrel room
Barrel house kings with feet unstable
Sagged and reeled and pounded on the table
....

And the champion for the speech choir is......

The First Presentors!!! BSN-3P!!!

Haha! yes! The fruit of our labor!! Thank you Lord! Praise be to God!
We got the 60 points for our english exam!!!!

Wo Ai Bang Bang Tang! 棒棒堂!!

2008-03-28T20:48:00.003+08:00

I'm obsessed with this band right now!!! I have downloaded their songs and videos and still can't get enough of them!! They are a boyband from taiwan...each has his unique talent..someone even do cheerdances!! I'm into Prince..he's just so uber cute!

I'm sad however that I would not get a chance to meet them until maybe 5 years from now...=( But the good thing is "Wretch!" The blogsite artists in taiwan use! I try to comment on their post ..and everytime I do..they feel so close to me...=) My comment stands out though because I'm the only one who comments in english! haha! Everyone writes chinese comments....dunno if he'll understand my comment..=p

At this point, I only know little facts about them...I'll try to research..watch some of their vids and decipher the mandarin language........whew! I also still have to watch Brown Sugar Macchiato!=) and I have to post a review before April 10!! why? coz summer classes will be starting!!

Jia You to everyone!
God bless!!

Happy 18th Birthday Jeninna!

2008-01-06T01:39:00.000+08:00

It was a reunion actually at the same time ninna's birthday! Aww..I just wished I kept most of my savings during Christmas and New Year so that I could've prepared a surprise cake for her....=)

I also wished that I had made a presentation for her....awww..why did I ever not get to do that??! The answer is that I was so busy watching and downloading super junior videos to care so much about her birthday...boooo to me! argh...how i feel bad..=(
I'll try to make it up and give her the cd this monday! go go!!
I feel like Jeninna has really matured from the girl I met back in high school.

Our Jrants group bonded for 9 hours straight..haha! Just simply talking, sharing stories, and watching a movie! We really had so much to share...we even relished the memories we had back in high school, and how our classmates/batchmates turned out to be today!
I really did enjoy talking with them!

We also did make some plans. That after graduation, we'll have to go to some resort or beach outside Davao to have fun and bond! I'm thinking of Boracay..but after graduation...hmm..I'm still broke then.. haha! Maybe if I'm 25 years old..then I can join!
If you ask me, I would like to go to Korea after graduation........*too good to be true* tsk..tsk...
But with friends, I would love to go to Cagayan and do white water rafting, kayaking, and bungee jumping! It would be great to stay there for two nights doing those kinds of stuff! I'll try to save until graduation then....

We still talked about lots of things like our current love life situations but seems like we're all still loveless! haha! Turns out I'm not alone!=)
Anyways, we promised each other to introduce each other's boyfriends if we'll have any!

How I wish to narrate all that we've talked about but it would take hours to write!=)
I wish Jrants the best God has to offer! Take care my friends! I'll always treasure you in my heart! Love you!=)

My top 10 celeb crushes!

2007-12-31T00:00:00.000+08:00

I got tagged by jenny nasser last sembreak! (end of october) and I just got to have this posted! Sorry for the late post though...hehe..=)

10. Yan Ya Lun [Arron Yan]
He was not supposed to be in my list! It was just recently that I admired this guy coz he is the one with the most talent in singing as well as in dancing [as i found out!] out of the 4 members of Fei Lun Hai. He has also shy...and is hen ke ai when rubbing his eyes!^^

9. Danson Tang
I first saw this guy at Hana Kimi taiwan as the leader of dorm 2. He became my crush by episode 12-14 when they had their photoshoot and when he was trying to get Chun jealous by getting close to ella of S.H.E. [sorry..i forgot their screen names in the series!]
What even amazed me was when i heard the news of the release of his album! And whoa! he can really sing!=)

8. Joe Cheng
He is in one of the popular taiwanese dramas too! And yeah..the drama was It Started With a Kiss! Who could not fall for the Über handsome-with-200 IQ genius Zhiang Zhi Shu?=) His real life personality also attracted me to him! I never thought that his character in the series is totally different in real life! He was this super wacky guy that can make you laugh!=)

7. Wentworth Miller
Ever watched prisonbreak?=)Well aside from the storyline, this guy got me hooked to the series! awww..he's just so h.o.t! and was even named the sexiest man alive!
I couldn't help but admire his "wittiness" in the series.

6. Choi Siwon
Technically, he is not my crush because he is jenny's. And i swear i won't take him away from her! I just admire this guy......He's a Christian and he's proud of it. He even said that religion's what's important in a partner! Whoa! same here! He fits my ideal guy Christian being on top of the list....but he's too good to be true... or to be mine that is.....=)

5. Wang Chuan Yi aka Kingone Wang
I don't know if it's out of pity that I developed a crush on him. When I saw him brokenhearted by Rainie Yang at the series Devil Beside You...I was like...awww..how can she do that?!=) I also could not forget the line he said, "Other people intend to hurt you..but others hurt because you hurt." [giving out his handkerchief to the crying rainie yang]..it was just so...heartwarming!=) Another thing is that, this guy can sing and is good in playing hoops too!=)

4. Cho Kyuhyun
He is really cute! He also has this amazing voice that can sweep you off your feet! haha...oh well... I am so mesmerized by his voice..and his looks that he has to be on my list!!=)

3. Wu Chun/Goh Kiat Chun
He is just super good-looking...and i think it would still be an understatement! Coupled with the looks is a muscular body that girls die for. And I'm not done yet! He is so successful at his age that aside from being a superstar in taiwan, he also owns a gym in brunei..and is a degree holder, graduate from a school in australia! He also knows how to speak a few languages! Chun Chun Chun....when can i meet you?=)

2. Lee Donghae
I think I'm meant for this guy...haha! kidding! Of course there's close to nil possibility that i'll be able to meet him! I easily fall for musicians especially when one has awesome dancing skills! This guy is really goodlooking... I like his skin..and his dance moves are just so awesome!=) he's one of the best dancers in super junior! And I say he's got a good singing voice too!=)

1. Sho Yano
I saw his video a year ago [i think..] and I couldn't help but admire this kid! He was like the real-life "zhang zhi shu" except that he didn't get to experience high school...=(
He has this super high IQ of 200+ and he was so humble to say that it's God's gift to him. He graduated suma cum laude at 12 years old [i believe] and is now studying at university of chicago to get a phd degree! Whoa! I don't know if he already has graduated. He's also of the same age as me..he's 19 now, I believe.
What really made me admire him is the fact that at such a young age [9 or 12 i think]...he has already read the Bible from cover to cover 3 times!

So there you have it! They all have pretty faces..but when it all comes down to it, I believe the attitude is still the most important...and being a Christian as well!=p

I'm Coming out clean...

2007-11-01T23:17:00.000+08:00

It has been a year since I fist saw Wu Zun of farenheit. I thought he was just a random guy in friendster. I had this instant admiration for him. But I never knew that he was an actor. I found so many accounts of him in friendster with different names. I started to search more and found out that he was actually an actor. It was quite exciting because I have never really discovered an actor of another country and even admired him that much without seeing him on national tv. The only place I could ever find stuff about him is about the internet. Knowing his name, I googled stuff about him and got into this blog which revealed the certain drama, Hana Kimi, that he's doing right now. I went to search for the show on you tube, found it and watched it. I loved it, and my admiration or infatuation for him grew more.
When I found out that he sings and is a member of a group called Farenheit, I was thrilled! I went to search for all their videos, watched and downloaded each thing I could find. There are even interviews of him that I do not understand but still continued watching it. He had no idea, but I was supporting him from afar.

pix...Ü

2006-09-18T21:32:00.000+08:00

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

2006-02-23T14:17:00.000+08:00

This excerpt that I read made me think... try reading it.... it's from Kay D. Rizzo's Popsicles Black Holes and Burnt Toast...

Have you ever dreamed of what it would be like to win a million dollars? I have, or I should say I did until I met a woman who had won a state lottery. When I asked her what it was like, she said, "I whish I'd never heard of the state lottery!"

Too much money makes people act squirrelly. As my grandma used to say: "It's dangerous to have too many dollars and not enough sense."

Maybe that's why Jesus had so much to say about wealth. He knew our hearts, that it's easy to forget we need Him. Our hearts and our bank accounts should be out of this world.

Ask Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft. I dona't know if his bank account and his focus is on God's kingdom, but the man is discovering that greater joy comes not from hoarding money, but from giving it away.

Be concerned with everything that comes from the Kingdom of God and what he requires of you, and he will provide you with all these other things. Matthew 6:33, TEV

2006-01-02T19:17:00.000+08:00

Hey! I would like to share one story that I really like....

Following boot camp, Rich Luttrell, a puny 18-year-old kid from Chicago's housing projects, found himself with two new pairs of boots, a new pair of shoes, and brand-new clothes -- all at the same time. But he also found himself a member of the 101st Airborne First Brigade, trained to fight guerillas -- night ambushes, search and destroy.
Dropped into the thick of war in Vietnam, Rich wondered, What am I doing here? This is a big mistake.
One hot sultry day, as he tramped through the jungle's tangled undergrowth, he had no idea his enemy was but a few feet away. Out of the corner of his right eye he suddenly saw a North Vietnamese soldier leaning over an AK-47. Rich was is his enemy's gunsight.
Fear flooded through Rich. It was kill or be killed. The American soldier turned and looked his enemy full in the face, then pulled the trigger. The North Vietnamese soldier slumped to the ground.
Stunned, Rich realized he'd actually killed a man, rather that having been killed. With the adrenaline rush over, the young soldier's legs felt like rubber.

Don't be afraid of these who want to murder you. They can only kill the body; they have no power over your souls. Luke12:4, TLB

WAIT!!! It's not through yet! It's TO BE CONTINUED.....!
So watch out for my next post to see its continuation.....Ü

I'm Just Gettin' Started

2005-12-27T17:38:00.000+08:00

Hey! I'm just actually gettin started. This is my very first blog and I hope that it will be fun! I'm really looking forward to adding some cool stuffs here, it's just that I don't know how to do it yet. But no need to worry, I'll figure it out someday....Ü

Hope you'll enjoy my blog! And hey! New year is coming up! It's 2006!! A new beginning, ayt? Hope everybody'll have a blast!

God Bless to you all!

P.S. Look out for my next post!Ü