Name: April Joy B. Wong
Age: 19 years old
Birthdate: April 17, 1989
Location: Davao City, Philippines!
Pre-occupied with: studies! & the internet! haha! Currently: a student nurse!

My life has been a whirlwind these past few days..
Since the month of June I have conditioned my self in preparation for the November nursing board exam. I have prayed to God that He would grant me good health during those times. Little did I know, something would happen...

During the last few months nearing my board exam, I have started withdrawing from kpop and delving greater time into prayer and reflection. I wanted my relationship with God back. I wanted that feeling of joy in His presence. And so I started listening to Christian music, reading Christian books, and courageously attending to a new church alone. I really felt His presence in me growing that I would be greatly touched by the songs played in church as well as the service presented by the pastor.
Little did I know that a trial would try to shake my faith from Him. Just 8 days prior to my board exam,November 21, 2009 (saturday), my younger brother got sick. He got a fever that got worse as the days pass by. I continually prayed for his healing but the fever persisted. We went to Davao Medical Center on Monday to have him admitted but they rejected him saying that he would just be healed by taking the medicines the doctor their prescribed. We went home relieved and I was thankful at that moment.

The fever still persisted and was now coupled with headache and intense abdominal pain. Our family continued to manage him as the doctor ordered us, but to no avail, he did not get any better. On Wednesday, November 25, 2009, while I was at my review center, my parents decided to rush him to San Pedro Hospital. He was finally admitted there with an impending diagnosis of Dengue Hemorrhagic Fever. I visited him at the hospital that night, and he was definitely in pain. My parents decided for me to stay home and study for my upcoming exam. I did study, but my brother was constantly on my mind. I prayed to God not for myself but for my younger brother. Even though I know that the board exam is important, my brother is much more important. My prayers were all for my brother and nothing for myself.

Thursday came and I was at my review center that morning. During lunch, I went to the hospital to visit him. During my visit, the nurses gave us a request slip for 6 units of platelet concentrate. Learning that my brother only had 20+ platelet, I rushed to the Red Cross to obtain blood with only 1,500php in my pocket. The staff at Red Cross were very much accommodating and I was thankful that they had available platelet concentrate and were willing to give to me with the condition that I had to replace them. When the bill came, I was shocked to find that I was 3,720php short of money. I called my mom at that moment to ask for more money but she rejected me saying that she does not have any. She then instructed me to buy a suppository because she believed that this could relieve my brother of his abdominal pain, and also to buy durian to raise his platelet. She told me at that time that the blood cannot raise my brother's platelet but only durian. I was for a long time quiet, and was taken aback by what she said. In the end, she told me to meet her at the hospital.

I arrived at the hospital before her. The thought that was on my mind was that that God would provide. When my mom came, she was in much anxiety that she was actually acting hysterically. She actually bought a suppository and was deliberately asking me almost begging me to administer it to my younger brother. I did not move from my place. She was speaking so low, so fast, and was pacing back and forth saying that this could relieve my younger brother's abdominal pain. And that we have no money to buy for the blood needed. A few moments later, I could not anymore hold back my feelings that I just bowed my head at the hospital bed and cried. This was not how it's supposed to be. My mom had let me studied nursing for 4 years only to let me do that? In the end, my mom did it. She told me to stop crying and gave me an additional 1,500php to add for the blood. I was thankful but it was still not enough. My mom and dad went out from the hospital to buy durian. I was left alone at that moment with my younger brother and I was praying to God at that moment for 1,500php. Just 1,500php Lord from heaven. And God did provide. At 3.30pm that afternoon, I went to my mom and with the help of another person (who was an instrument of God to help us) lended us with 1,500php. The Lord is definitely wonderful! I rushed to Red Cross to obtain the blood with the promise that I would replace it with donors within 1 week.

That night I thanked God and prayed to him that things would be ok and that my brother would finally be healed. The night after that, on the 27th, 2 days before my board exam, the doctor ordered another 6 units of platelet because my brother's platelet is still falling. We did not have enough money at that time. I though it was okay to delay it because my brother has previously been transfused of blood and his platelet has now probably risen. I was not expecting the doctor's statement that my brother's platelet was now only down to 8. It was 10pm and was raining when my mother and I decided to go home together to get some money for the blood. The rain was pouring so hard and the only transportation that we had was a "trisikad". At that moment, the thought was Jesus Christ's last word when He was on the cross. I also felt that the Lord refused to look at me. It was raining and flooding and I was continually praying when we reached Red Cross. It was very unfortunate that they had no available platelet concentrate. We proceeded to San Pedro Hospital with our trisikad to tell the doctor. The doctor then advised us to look for blood at the Blood Bank at DMC or at Carmen. We rode a trisiboat to reach DMC, but sad to say, it was not open. It was still raining when my mom and I decided to pursue Carmen to find blood.

We went by jeepney to Buhangin at around 11.30pm in the hopes to find a bus to ride to Carmen. We waited for 20 minutes but nothing came. A couple of taxis came, and on the second taxi, the driver agreed to take us to Carmen back and forth for 700php. It was a cold ride, but the rain was slowly stopping. I was still praying to God in the taxi, assuring myself that God really will provide. That He will not leave us nor forsake us. That with the slowing down of the rain, He will also slowly look at us and help us. We reached Carmen not knowing where to go, and thankfully with the help of a few people, we were able to get to the blood bank. Thank God and Praise God, there was available platelet concentrate. We hurried back to Davao and reached San Pedro Hospital at around 1.10am. We went to the laboratory and had the blood retyped and also visited my younger brother. My mother then made my brother drink some herbal medicines.

My mother and I decided to go home and reached home at around 2am. I rested for 5 minutes, made myself ready to sleep. I read my Bible. I was reading Micah and the one that struck me was the verse that said "you committed so many sins that I cannot barely look at you". It was very clear that that was God's message to me. I prayed then and asked God for forgiveness. Also asking Him to help my younger brother and telling Him that I would lie low on my kpop and not anymore go into fandom. I will definitely fulfill that promise. My brother was healed and was discharged at the hospital on December 01, 2009.

I decided to transfer this post from my tagged account since I'm soon be deleting it^^

Nov.12, 2008 post..
Wow...I have never been so blessed! I was so sick yesterday...and I woke up early midnight thinking that I missed Sunday capping practice at school because I was at home resting...I got really worried! coz I was thinking today was Monday! But then I realized that it's not...thank God! So I woke up today..Sunday moring at 9:30 am...ate my brunch and by 12:00noon..I was off to school...? When I got there....I was totally shocked that I forgot to bring a candle! And if the practice coordinator would find out I haven't got one...I would might as well get an extension and pay....huhuhu...but then my classmate was able to bring an extra candle and lining and offered to give it to me...I was really very much thankful!! Everyone was having a commotion about the bringing of the ORF.....toink!...another problem! I lost my ORF.....Another friend came asking me to accompany her to "disenyo" to get her uniform...and it hit me like a bullet that i forgot to get my uniform....and the deadline was supposed to be today! I was also worried that the store would close at 4:30 pm knowing that during sundays, their store hours are from 9:30am-4:30pm...and our practice would not end until 5pm! 5pm came....and the coordinator announced that we are to wear our type c tomorrow...and that we are to photocopy our ORFs..because if not...we will be marked absent...which means one day extension...! I was like....oh my...what was i gonna do?? I don't have a uniform and an ORF! I was really praying to God in my seat when I remembered the philippians verse which says.."don't be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition, present all your requests to God, and peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Then something inside me says everything will be fine, so i stopped worrying.....Suddenly, everything went smoothly well...we went to "disenyo" and amazing! the store was open at 5:15pm! I went home prepared for the extensive search for my ORF...but voila! I immediately saw it on the table, inserted with some other papers..but I saw it instantly! Wow! I could have shouted for joy! I could've sang praises! The feeling was truly amazing! I really felt the presence of God being in control....thank You God!!

I decided to go to the mall after my review classes to buy a connector from my mp3 to the computer so that I can charge it. I knew that the customers in that store waited for the longest time even though they have a systematic way of handling customers and that is by giving numbers. My number was 19 numbers away from the current number being catered. Since I needed this, I decided to pray to God to give me patience. It was truly a test of patience for I stood at the store for the longest hour witnessing how slow the employers are at catering their customers. I did not cuss and I took off all the bad stuff in my mind and prayed for patience at all After waiting for almost like an hour [or more] at the gadget store, I finally got my item.
When approaching the exit of the mall, I could see the vigorous pouring of the rain. I knew this had to be one of the worst rains, and that this kind of rain would not stop easily.I decided to take the longer route to my house by taking the Route 4 which will go to bajada, cabaguio, agdao, then to my destination. Upon riding the jeepney, I could vividly see the strong pour of the rain, and then and there I prayed to God that when I reach my destination, I pray that He would have already stopped the rain or at least slowed it down because I don't want to be soaking wet reaching home. Seeing how selfish my prayer was, I then prayed to God for my mom to have a better shelter at her workplace. And that He would answer that prayer more than He would answer mine.
So then the ride to my home began. The rain never stopped pouring and we reached to the road when there was visible flood. This was at the Bajada road and the flood reached at the knee level of an ordinary person. The jeepney was at first doing okay, and in my mind I was really cheering on for the jeepney to pass this challenge, but unexpectedly, in the middle of the flood, the jeepney stopped. There were a few men willing to push the jeepney for a cost and our jeepney driver had no other choice but to give them money and ask for their help. They helped us get through the flood. But one of them even exhorted money from us, aside from asking from the driver, and I really thought that was very rude of them.
When I thought that was the end of it, the jeepney suddenly won't start. I was quite worried at first, thinking of a way of how I could get myself out of here. I practically looking for other jeepneys or even taxis, but then I thought I could only get myself wet. I'd rather stay inside the jeepney and wait for the rain to stop than to risk myself out there. I continued to pray to God while the driver was also continuously trying to start the car. After another few minutes, the jeepney sounded like it was ready to take off, and I was praying and praying at my seat for God to let the jeepney start. Thankfully He did. He answered my prayer. Not only that, when I reached my destination, the rain slowed down. It slowed down. Again, it slowed down. God for the second time answered my prayer. There was no trisikad to ride, but thankfully the rain was slow enough not to let me be thoroughly wet.

Thank You Lord for answering my prayer.=)

I have no boyfriend since birth.

I guess I chose not to. The boys in my life..
1. My first real crush. aka The first person who made my heart skip a beat.
My schoolmate who asked my name at the library when I was in my first year in high school. Not much people know this but he was my crush all throughout high school until he graduated. I kept a diary of our encounters but it's now gone.T_T. I lost it. I asked God for an "impossible" sign when I was in my 2nd year of high school that if this guy is meant for me, then let me see him on tv. I did. I did see him on tv 6 years after as an audience of a popular show.
My feelings for him is like a rollercoaster, sometimes it escalates, sometimes it goes down to its lowest point. And I don't see him that often. Which is the reason why I really really have to let go of this person. I think I am. I will very soon be able to totally forget him.

2. The first person who courageously asked my number.
He is cute. He courageously asked my number without any hesitation. Most guys would befriend a girl first but this one's different. I immediately was turned off knowing that he smokes and drinks. Although he's the type of guy you can display and proudly say he's "your guy", I believe that in the long run, the relationship will totally not work out. He is not the guy for me because he is not the guy that I prayed for.

My ideal love story:
I would meet my love one when I'm in my early twenties. He would fit the category I prayed to God for, Christian, handsome, rich, intelligent, sweet, tall, not a smoker or a drinker, and is a family guy. We would gradually fall for each other. Our relationship would go through ups and downs but we would put God in the center. We will kiss and do everything else when we get married.

This may sound lame to a lot of people but that really is my kind of love story. I want my first to be my last. No offense to a lot of people but I don't really want to have a boyfriend who I met at a club or I had a chat on the internet with, or texted with. Plus, I also don't like texting people, I prefer calling.

Ha! This is actually the reason why I have no boyfriend. I choose not to and I'm way too picky. I hope to stand to this principle and I really really pray that with the help of God I'll meet him at the right place and time.

P.S. Of course there are times when I yearn for someone to be with me. Especially seeing my classmates and friends that there's people taking care of them and treating them specially well. But I have to stand to my principle and not stumble.

I decided to blog about my strategic plan and review these a few years after to see if I really was able to achieve this~~

Steps in my strategic plan~~
1. Make money.
2. Use that money to train for chinese/korean/japanese language in their respective country on my post board exam.
3. Get my license back in the Philippines.
4. Apply for some trainings.
5. Apply for a working visa on that country...
6. Fly to that country to work as a nurse..

What am I doing at this point in time to achieve that dream?
1. I am a sales consultant of Filinvest..I sell condominium units at One Oasis.
* I haven't sold any yet..=( *care to buy?* I haven't found people willing to invest on condominiums...
2. I am planning to apply as a part time medical transcriptionist... If they'll accept me, I 'll use the money to help the bills in the house, to use it as my own allowance, and save it for the language training later on.

Well, so far..that's still it... Hopefully, I will be able to be successful in this..
I have to be positive and think that I will..I will!! with the help of God. ^_^

One Sided Love
by Statexofxclarity

Isn't that what people say?
That one-sided love is the hardest.
Always like a master handling his puppet.
Always like a kid playing with a toy.
Love is said to be the greatest feeling.
Perfect in its own way.
Yet flawlessness doesn't exist.
So there must be an error.
The mistake of a one-sided love.

The way that love is warm, it is the same way cruel.
Though it may be a blessing.
It leaves behind a victim to suffer.
In this case, me.

You have no idea what you left me with.
All the memories you threw away, I chose to gather.
The thoughts of you walking away.
The question of why I wasn't good enough?
Self doubt which refused to fade.
Each and every tear fell for you.
I spent hours in the rain...in the dark.
The only places I could reach for comfort.
The only shadows that taught me to escape...
Just for a little while.
And all the wishes wasted on you.
The whispers I choked out into the night.
The times where I could hardly breathe...
Just because you were you.
Just because you broke into my heart.
Just because.

Well...now I'm tired.
To a certain point where I can't stand you.
So take the chains off of me.
Take all the things I've done for you.
Consider them my last.
And still you won't know how precious...
My heart was in the care of your hands.
Goodbye.

I say a one-sided love lacks faith.
That this kind of love can't clash with destiny.
And that love might mean something delicate and pretty...
In the beginning.
However, just like a rose...
Everything beautiful has to wither and die...
In the end.
And this is the conclusion of this one-sided love story.
Heavenly to tragic.

But don't people also say that, to a finish there is another start.
So hope shouldn't fail or diminish.
As these petals of pain disappear.
Love will bloom once again.
This will always and forever be fate.

credits to: http://www.best-love-poems.com




...explains how i feel...

I think I give up..
I'm giving him up...
who? Lee Donghae...
I know..he was not even mine in the first place..
but I think I'm giving up my admiration for him for the time being...
I'm going on a Donghae hiatus until ....until I don't know..T_T
but for the time being...that's how I'm feeling...
the reason?
watch the vids below...








You may say I'm jealous...well I probably am...
Watching the first beat made my heart skip a beat...
I really really wanted to be at the girl's shoes at that moment...
But the song....??? not the song I wanted Donghae to sing..T_T
The second vid really made me.......made me....cringe?
No..I can't say the word cringe..because I like Donghae..I'm not angry with him..
it's just the song..and his..."actions"..who would do those things in front of a number of people live?
Aaahhh..i really didn't like it..although many found it "sexy" and labeled his actions.."hot"..but for me it just isn't...
He is just too perrvyyy for me these days....
Check out the song..."Nice and Slow" by Usher...even the music video speaks for itself...
the lyrics of the song contains.."I'll make love to you until the sun comes up"
haish~~~~
A week or 2 weeks before...
He started calling his girl fans.."bao bei"..then started hugging fans at fanmeetings..then this...~haish~

I think my fishie needs some love...I think he's longing for a girlfriend...
and I think..the feeling*longingness* that he's feeling...he's taking it out on stuff like these....*this is just my theory*...^_^

I hope he sings Edwin McCaine songs..or 98 degrees songs..
Maybe Ne-yo songs would do...
Usher's songs are just a bit.....*fill in the blanks*=)

Have you done something that you got caught in the act?

This question has been asked during our Bible Study at CYF but I didn't get the courage to answer that I was once caught cheating when I was in Grade 3 by my classmates. Since I was an honor student, my teacher would not believe that I would cheat. Hmm.now that I think of that incident.. I think I cheated for 2 reasons.. one because I didn't get to study..the second was to feel what it was like to cheat...
I found out that it was not nice...

Hmmm..tonight..I got caught in the act too... When I was in my 3rd year high school, I clearly promised myself and to God not to indulge in lust or anything with sexual content that will ever corrupt my mind. I loved reading pocketbooks until I got to read books with sexual content....you know those... time came when I really was into those books... but I was guilty after reading them...
They corrupted my mind and my relationship with God because those books can take the time you set aside from God. Aside from that, they promote premarital sex which is against the law of God.
And so, I asked for permission and vowed not to ever read those again. I told God to do everything in His power just to stop me from reentering into those things again..
until tonight...
These past few days I've been worse..worst in fact..
Maybe it is out of boredom that I go back those stuff...
There were a lot of things that God did about it.. a lot just to keep me from reading or indulging myself in those stuff...but I think I was just so hard-headed and I just wouldn't listen to Him...

until I was watching a music video....in the middle of the music video...a picture appeared.. a picture of a guy and a girl having sex but only their heads were shown.. but it was quite obvious what they were doing...
my mom suddenly opened the door in my room and saw that.
~owwwww~~
it was like caught in the act but not really in the act, which is much more worse I believe...

awww..now how I wish I could undo things...haay...
God really did keep His promise of doing everything to keep me away from it.
And since it's hard for me to listen to Him, He used another plan.
Now I'm super duper guilty...
I feel like the worse person living...the fithiest...horrible..horrible..
I hate asking forgiveness because I'm embarrassed with God already for doing this sin over and over again. But I know I need to. And I need to mean it.
God needs to know that I will never want to engage in this stuff ever again.
And I mean EVER AGAIN!! *until I get married*=)

sorry...sorry..i'm so sorry...
i feel so shameful..