<Filled with God's Love>

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Unforgettable Moments

My life has been a whirlwind these past few days..
Since the month of June I have conditioned my self in preparation for the November nursing board exam. I have prayed to God that He would grant me good health during those times. Little did I know, something would happen...

During the last few months nearing my board exam, I have started withdrawing from kpop and delving greater time into prayer and reflection. I wanted my relationship with God back. I wanted that feeling of joy in His presence. And so I started listening to Christian music, reading Christian books, and courageously attending to a new church alone. I really felt His presence in me growing that I would be greatly touched by the songs played in church as well as the service presented by the pastor.
Little did I know that a trial would try to shake my faith from Him. Just 8 days prior to my board exam,November 21, 2009 (saturday), my younger brother got sick. He got a fever that got worse as the days pass by. I continually prayed for his healing but the fever persisted. We went to Davao Medical Center on Monday to have him admitted but they rejected him saying that he would just be healed by taking the medicines the doctor their prescribed. We went home relieved and I was thankful at that moment.

The fever still persisted and was now coupled with headache and intense abdominal pain. Our family continued to manage him as the doctor ordered us, but to no avail, he did not get any better. On Wednesday, November 25, 2009, while I was at my review center, my parents decided to rush him to San Pedro Hospital. He was finally admitted there with an impending diagnosis of Dengue Hemorrhagic Fever. I visited him at the hospital that night, and he was definitely in pain. My parents decided for me to stay home and study for my upcoming exam. I did study, but my brother was constantly on my mind. I prayed to God not for myself but for my younger brother. Even though I know that the board exam is important, my brother is much more important. My prayers were all for my brother and nothing for myself.

Thursday came and I was at my review center that morning. During lunch, I went to the hospital to visit him. During my visit, the nurses gave us a request slip for 6 units of platelet concentrate. Learning that my brother only had 20+ platelet, I rushed to the Red Cross to obtain blood with only 1,500php in my pocket. The staff at Red Cross were very much accommodating and I was thankful that they had available platelet concentrate and were willing to give to me with the condition that I had to replace them. When the bill came, I was shocked to find that I was 3,720php short of money. I called my mom at that moment to ask for more money but she rejected me saying that she does not have any. She then instructed me to buy a suppository because she believed that this could relieve my brother of his abdominal pain, and also to buy durian to raise his platelet. She told me at that time that the blood cannot raise my brother's platelet but only durian. I was for a long time quiet, and was taken aback by what she said. In the end, she told me to meet her at the hospital.

I arrived at the hospital before her. The thought that was on my mind was that that God would provide. When my mom came, she was in much anxiety that she was actually acting hysterically. She actually bought a suppository and was deliberately asking me almost begging me to administer it to my younger brother. I did not move from my place. She was speaking so low, so fast, and was pacing back and forth saying that this could relieve my younger brother's abdominal pain. And that we have no money to buy for the blood needed. A few moments later, I could not anymore hold back my feelings that I just bowed my head at the hospital bed and cried. This was not how it's supposed to be. My mom had let me studied nursing for 4 years only to let me do that? In the end, my mom did it. She told me to stop crying and gave me an additional 1,500php to add for the blood. I was thankful but it was still not enough. My mom and dad went out from the hospital to buy durian. I was left alone at that moment with my younger brother and I was praying to God at that moment for 1,500php. Just 1,500php Lord from heaven. And God did provide. At 3.30pm that afternoon, I went to my mom and with the help of another person (who was an instrument of God to help us) lended us with 1,500php. The Lord is definitely wonderful! I rushed to Red Cross to obtain the blood with the promise that I would replace it with donors within 1 week.

That night I thanked God and prayed to him that things would be ok and that my brother would finally be healed. The night after that, on the 27th, 2 days before my board exam, the doctor ordered another 6 units of platelet because my brother's platelet is still falling. We did not have enough money at that time. I though it was okay to delay it because my brother has previously been transfused of blood and his platelet has now probably risen. I was not expecting the doctor's statement that my brother's platelet was now only down to 8. It was 10pm and was raining when my mother and I decided to go home together to get some money for the blood. The rain was pouring so hard and the only transportation that we had was a "trisikad". At that moment, the thought was Jesus Christ's last word when He was on the cross. I also felt that the Lord refused to look at me. It was raining and flooding and I was continually praying when we reached Red Cross. It was very unfortunate that they had no available platelet concentrate. We proceeded to San Pedro Hospital with our trisikad to tell the doctor. The doctor then advised us to look for blood at the Blood Bank at DMC or at Carmen. We rode a trisiboat to reach DMC, but sad to say, it was not open. It was still raining when my mom and I decided to pursue Carmen to find blood.

We went by jeepney to Buhangin at around 11.30pm in the hopes to find a bus to ride to Carmen. We waited for 20 minutes but nothing came. A couple of taxis came, and on the second taxi, the driver agreed to take us to Carmen back and forth for 700php. It was a cold ride, but the rain was slowly stopping. I was still praying to God in the taxi, assuring myself that God really will provide. That He will not leave us nor forsake us. That with the slowing down of the rain, He will also slowly look at us and help us. We reached Carmen not knowing where to go, and thankfully with the help of a few people, we were able to get to the blood bank. Thank God and Praise God, there was available platelet concentrate. We hurried back to Davao and reached San Pedro Hospital at around 1.10am. We went to the laboratory and had the blood retyped and also visited my younger brother. My mother then made my brother drink some herbal medicines.

My mother and I decided to go home and reached home at around 2am. I rested for 5 minutes, made myself ready to sleep. I read my Bible. I was reading Micah and the one that struck me was the verse that said "you committed so many sins that I cannot barely look at you". It was very clear that that was God's message to me. I prayed then and asked God for forgiveness. Also asking Him to help my younger brother and telling Him that I would lie low on my kpop and not anymore go into fandom. I will definitely fulfill that promise. My brother was healed and was discharged at the hospital on December 01, 2009.